Big Boy

Cameron, my very first baby, is now my no longer a baby, big boy... sniff sniff. He just turned 4 which can't even be considered a toddler anymore, definitely a big boy now. He gets himself dressed, goes potty, clears the table, helps unload the dishwasher, brings his own laundry into the laundry room for me, helps with his baby brother, goes to preschool...

Seriously, look how old this kid is!

Four things about you at 4

1. You have the cutest way of talking! We love how great you are at expressing yourself and you have your own way of doing it. Just today, you called your breakfast Yum-licious!

2. You still love all things trains, dinosaurs, sharks, but I would have to say that right now, trains might be your fave.

3. You love to learn and explore, experience new things, and go on adventures. Even if it's just to Walmart, you get so excited, and you can't wait for Disneyland later this year.

4. You have the best smile, sweetest kisses and yummiest hugs! I don't get these often so when I do, I eat them up!

Don't even get me started about next year... when he is five... and school age... sniff sniff

So Cute!

I have tons of things to share with you all, photos of Christmas and the Christmas Eve Polar Express, Gray trying new food, a photo shoot with Gray. But about a billion things have been thrown at me since my Dad died and I am just barely, barely recovering. I actually got up today and folded laundry, put some things away, and even organized... all before lunchtime! I felt like a new woman and even called Pete at work to tell him how excited I was to be feeling better. Then I sat down with a snack to blog about things (don't wanna over do it ya know).
I will share above mentioned photos and things later (hopefully this week) but I just had to share something cute Cameron does right now. When something breaks, he begs me to "BLue it back togever wif yours BLue gun" When he goes to play in the snow he wants to wear his "BLoves" and the cutest of all so far is when we did a snowflake art project last week and he was so excited to use the "BLitter" I have yet to correct him too much on this one since he is talking so great and I miss some of the cute baby talk. In fact I may just go look up more words that start with GL (maybe some more with the sound TH come to think of it) and find ways for him to have to say them. Any Ideas?

We will miss you Poppa/Dad!

I can't believe I am writing this post, thinking these words, feeling this pain...

I always thought there would be more time, another time, next time... More time.

I am so grateful for the time that we had together, the vacations and camping trips, holidays, visits, working together, lots of lunches out. Those last few days at our house were so very special. Playing cards, playing with the remote control cars, watching movies, playing your new hunting game on the wii, eating lots of good food, shooting fireworks, laughing, talking, playing. I am so glad we had that time.

I am having so many emotions. Sadness, Anger, Gratitude, Frustration, Heartache, Love, Pain, Shock, Disbelief.

I am sad for the lost time. quad rides, playing games, trips, shooting, visits, camping. Watching your grandsons grow up. Seeing even more grandchildren added to the family. Seeing Morgan graduate from high school, seeing her marry, bringing out the shotgun to greet her prom date, seeing her children. Growing old with Mom, taking vacations with Mom. I am sad for Cameron missing his Poppa (you had such a special bond). I am sad for Gray who will never know his Poppa, I never even got a picture of you holding him (I am kicking myself for that). I am sad for Pete and me, we were so excited to find a rental up here that had a guest room, so excited to set it up so you could visit us, wanted you to visit us. We are all going to miss you so much, miss having you there.

You loved your family so very much and would never have chosen to leave us. I don't understand why this happened, how this happened, why it had to happen so soon... so young...
I don't know if I ever will understand it in this life. So much time that we should have had together has been lost.

Hug your loved ones, tell them every chance you get, that you love them. You never know when it's going to be the last.
I saw this on Becky Higgins blog, she said "May 2011 be the year that we cultivate a better life- for ourselves and those we love most"
We didn't even celebrate New Years this year, but I guess this will not only be my New Years resolution, but the way I want to live my life... better together. Realizing what's most important.